revisiting

i once wrote the following:

"The characteristics that I want in a boy do not seem to coexist together."

as usual, I was wrong. For once I have exactly what I want/need. For once I'm not settling for anything. It's an honest blessing to have this boy, not only to have, but to even know-to associate with-to be involved with in even a friendly way would be way more than I could have asked for. I hope his feelings for me don't fade, it'll kill me. Investing a lot into someone else is a mistake that I've made in the past, please don't let this fade.

how is this happening to me? how is this real?